12 Mayıs 2021


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When I first started working here, 15 years ago, I had a secretary named Liz. She was the first secretary I’d ever had, and she was also the last. Downsizing stripped the secretaries from a lot of managers, so when Liz left, no one replaced her. Liz didn’t leave because she didn’t want to work here anymore, she left because she had to. She was the dependent wife of a soldier stationed here, so when he left, she had no choice but to go too. It didn’t matter that she wanted to stay, or that her and her husband were in the middle of a divorce. They were still legally married so the military made her leave.

The reason for their divorce was something I could never understand. Liz was the most beautiful woman I had ever met, and in the 13 years since she left, I’ve never met met anyone who could compare to her. Yet, her husband had absolutely no interest in her sexually. He was into body building, and it seems he’d rather look at himself in the mirror than have sex with his wife. According to Liz, he hadn’t been interested in her for almost 4 years, and she just couldn’t take it anymore. And while she got plenty of offers, she was too traditional to even think of cheating. So the only think left for her to do was divorce him and find someone who wanted her.

If you think I didn’t want her, you’re wrong. But, I was also married, and even worse, I was almost 15 years older than her, and in nowhere near the shape her husband was. It didn’t matter that my marriage was also on the rocks, although for different reasons. It mattered that she was, in my mind, so far out of my league that I couldn’t even bring myself to fantasize about her. So, while I was there for her whenever she needed me, I put myself in the friend box, because she would have put me there too.

There were a couple of times that she did or said things that might have meant more than that. For example, her throwing me a black balloon party on my 40th birthday. She’d not only arranged the party, she’d paid for all the decorations herself, and bought me a couple of small gifts. She’d even had a picture of herself taken, laying on the my desk behind the cake, saying this was my real present. And, when she was getting close to her time to leave, she insisted that I go out partying with her just once, since I’d never gone out with her and her friends before. The partying ended up being just her and I at the local club, and she told me she’d never had more fun before. But, there wasn’t any touching or even a good night kiss, so I put those incidences in the friend box too.

We stayed in touch after she left, and she kept me up to date on what was going on in her life. The biggest thing was that a mutual friend of ours went running after her. He was the same age as me, and actually in slightly worse shape. And, he was also married and had been her neighbor in the housing area. Well, when he tracked her down, he got her to go out drinking with him for old times sake. And in her lonely and drunken state, they’d ended up in bed. Those had been her words, not mine, so I’m not being insulting here. From that one night stand, she’d ended up pregnant. And being the traditional girl she was, and because he kept in contact too, she let him divorce his wife and marry her. Again, these were her own words, not mine, although I never understood why she’d explain it to me that way.

We still stayed in contact, through the birth of her daughter, and through my own divorce. And somewhere in there I confessed that I had been sort of in love with her myself, but would never have had the guts to do what her husband did. She’d tease me about that sometimes, saying that women liked to be chased, so it was my loss. And, she’d tell me she still needed to be chased, even by her husband. And the day he stopped chasing her would be the day their marriage was over.

I didn’t really kick myself for what happened, because I still felt she was out of my league. Not so much for her beauty, but also because wanting to be chased all the time is sort of a high maintenance trait. I believed in the chase myself, but only until the point of first capture. After that, I believed in both parties completely surrendering to each other. Showing your love on a daily basis was one thing, but what she was talking about was proving it every day. Definitely not the same things, and infinitely wearing on any man. That’s why only rich people usually have high maintenance wives. That, or men who have no problem pampering their wives and giving them constant attention. I didn’t have anything against Liz being that way, and it wasn’t sour grapes. It was just one of the reasons I always felt she was out of my league, because I could never see myself doing that.

I too got married again, to another girl that was out of my league, although not for the reasons Liz was. This one was 20 years younger than me, and beautiful, yet she still married me. And things were fantastic for the first year of marriage, that is until bostancı escort bayan our son was born. After the birth, my wife slowly started losing interest in sex, until now I’m lucky if we make love twice a month. It began with the standard headache then other excuses were added as the refusals increased. It came to a head about two years ago, when she’d started promising sex, then starting ridiculous fights to get out of keeping her promises. The result was her admitting she just didn’t have the desire for sex and she didn’t have any reason why. The only reason we haven’t divorced is that everything else is fine, just our sex life. So, we don’t fight about it, and she doesn’t lie anymore, I just wait for her to be in her twice a month moods.

Around the time of our fight, Liz must have also been having problems in her marriage. That’s because she told me she couldn’t write directly to me anymore. She could post things on social pages, if they were open for everyone to read. But, she couldn’t send private messages on those pages, and she couldn’t write me e-mail. So, since it was difficult for us to have the type of conversations we used to have, we sort of stopped talking to each other. That is until last week, when she sent me a direct e-mail asking what was going on in my life.

I didn’t send her back the kind of message we used to write, because you can’t just jump back into that. We used to tell each other almost everything, only stopping short when it came to the details of our love lives. We’d even talked about that, but only in a general way. You know, whether or not we enjoyed certain types of sex, but not in a vulgar way, and never in detail. But she did know that I was a romantic lover, who would do anything to please the woman I was with. And I knew she was kind of selfish in bed, allowing her husband to please her, but never return the favor. Another reason I thought she was high maintenance, because she was all take and no give sexually. But like I said, I couldn’t go into that kind of talk in our first message in two years.

Instead, I sent one telling how things were going at work, and about the activities my son was involved in in school. All generic news and all totally harmless even if my wife were to read it. But, while I couldn’t pick up right where we left off, she could, and then some. As a matter of fact, her reply was to say that she was getting divorced again. Only this time it wasn’t because her husband didn’t pay attention to her or try to make love to her. No, this time there was only one reason for her divorce, and that reason was me.

Of course I was shocked when I read that message, and I immediately wrote back asking how her divorce could be my fault. We hadn’t seen in other for 13 years, and we hadn’t even talked in messages for the last two. She replied that it wasn’t my fault for having done anything to cause it directly. It was my fault for the mistakes she had made 13 years before, and for what I hadn’t done back then. The mistake I’d made was in not coming after her, especially with how I’d later said I felt about her. And her biggest mistake had been not giving me more reasons to follow her.

I told her that, to be honest, she hadn’t given me any reasons at all to follow her. Her response was that she had, but that I hadn’t recognized them as such, and that was where she made her mistake. She should have given me stronger hints, or been more direct in the things she’d said to me. She’d thought that if the feelings she’d seen in my eyes were true, then the hints she’d given me should have been enough. And, when I hadn’t taken those hints, she figured it meant I wasn’t interested. It wasn’t until she was already married again that I’d told her she was wrong, and by then it was too late. If she’d even thought to ask me before she left, everything would have been different.

I told her that I honestly didn’t remember her giving me any hints at all, and she said that was the problem. She’d known they were hints, but I didn’t recognize them that way. And it took her years before she’d understood why I didn’t. Take my birthday party for example. How many secretaries spent their own money to throw a birthday party for the boss? They might take up a collection from other people in the office, but they wouldn’t pay for everything themselves. And how many would buy three different presents for their boss? One present maybe, but never more than one present. And what about the fourth present, the picture of her that she said was my real present. Had I taken the hint, and tried to collect that present, she would have given it to me gladly.

After all, I was the only person she’d ever told about her husband not making love to her for years. I didn’t take that hint either, and offer to take care of that problem by making love to her myself. And what about her begging me to go partying with her and her friends, then her showing up alone? The fact that she didn’t ümraniye escort give a reason why they weren’t there should have told me she wanted a private party. And, the part where she told me that it was the most fun she’d ever had, is the part where I was supposed to kiss her. If I had, that kiss wouldn’t have stopped until the next morning at the earliest. She’d given me plenty of hints, but I hadn’t taken a single one of them. And to her it had meant that my eyes were lying and I really didn’t want her. So when her now husband showed up, she’d given him the things she’d wanted to give to me.

It wasn’t until my confession of how I felt, over a year after she left, that she realized I hadn’t known they were hints. And it had taken almost another year before she understood why. If it had been a normal birthday and she did all that, I might have gotten a clue. But a man’s 40th birthday isn’t a normal occasion, so her throwing me a party wasn’t that unusual. Had she given me the picture afterward, instead of in front of the whole office, I might have seen its real meaning instead of taking it as a joke. Had she told me I was the only person who knew about her problem, I might have done something. And had she even touched my hand that night, instead of just saying she’d had a good night, it might have ended in the kiss she’d wanted. All the meaning she’d put into those things had been lost because she’d never asked me then how I felt. And I had been lost as well.

I, of course, asked why it had taken her 13 years to tell me this, why not tell me sooner? She said she’d tried, several times, but just couldn’t come right out and say it like I did. The closest had been when I first confessed, but she’d just had a baby a few months before that. How could she go through another divorce that soon, even if I had been willing to take her? I mean, she’d just had another man’s baby, would I still want her after that? And, how could she risk losing her daughter in a custody battle? But that didn’t mean she hadn’t felt the same way I did about her. She’d only stayed with her husband because of her daughter. But now that her daughter was old enough to understand, she wanted to fix the mistake she’d made by letting me get away.

I was still trying to figure out what was going on, and why she’d tell me this after 13 years. So I asked what her husband had done to make her want to divorce him. She said he hadn’t done anything bad to her, and he’d always treated her like a queen. But he’d known from the start that she was in love with someone else, and had accepted it. And, after they’d been married about three years, she’d even told him who it was. But, before I asked, no, it wasn’t just a marriage in name only. They kissed, cuddled and made love just like normal married couples did. It was just that most of the time they made love, she’d been thinking about me, and he knew it. He accepted that and never complained, even the times she’d called out my name during her orgasms.

And it wasn’t like she didn’t have any feelings for him, she did love him in some small way. He was a good man and took good care of her, and he tried his best to make her happy. She’d even tried to concentrate on that at one point, which was why she’d ended our private conversations. She felt that if her and I weren’t sending each other messages all the time, she’d be able to give him the love he deserved. But if not seeing me for 13 years hadn’t changed the way she felt about me, not writing me for two years didn’t change it either. In fact, that had been another mistake, because it only made her think about me more often. And, it hadn’t had the desired effect of making her love her husband more.

I wrote back to ask why she just didn’t really try to forget me, and stay with her husband. Or, if she truly didn’t love him enough, why not find somebody new? In all that time she must have met some other guys that attracted her. Why chase after a guy she had only known for a little more than a year, and hadn’t seen in 13? She immediately wrote back to ask if I was trying to get rid of her. And I responded that yes I most definitely was. Her daughter might be old enough to understand what her mother was doing, but my son wasn’t. And even if he was, I had no intentions of chasing after her for a dream that had died long ago.

Her answer to that was not what I expected it to be. She said that I was absolutely right that what she wanted to do was all wrong and made no sense. But, her heart wouldn’t listen to her, and her not listening to her heart had made her life empty. She’d met lots of guys over the years, and if I wanted to be shocked, she’d slept with some of them too. But, she hadn’t fallen in love with any of them except me. She also knew I wouldn’t chase her, and she didn’t expect me to. She knew she’d have to come to me, and that’s what she was going to do. She’d decided that six months ago, when she’d applied for her divorce. And she’d already escort kartal found a job and an apartment near where I lived. So as soon as her divorce was final, in two days, she’d be on a plane to me.

She also didn’t expect me to leave my wife and son for her, she’d like it but didn’t expect it. She was 40 years old now, and didn’t want or need any more children. So marriage wasn’t something that important to her. All that was important was following her heart back to me, and making up for the time she should have been with me. She finished the e-mail with telling me she’d see me soon, and telling me straight out that she loved me. She’d also attached several files to the message with a PS that said not to open them unless I was totally alone.

I opened the first one anyway, just to see what it was, then closed it right away. That’s because it was a picture of her in a see through nightgown that left nothing to the imagination. Then, I took her advice, And waited until everyone else had left for the day before looking at it again. There were a total of four pictures, and one video clip, and of course I opened them all. And only the first picture had any clothes, the rest including the video, were all totally naked. The pictures were the nightgown shot taken from the front, a semi profile picture that showed off her breasts, a shot from the back that showed how tight her ass was, and one of her bent over to show off her pussy and asshole at the same time.

They all showed one thing, that she was still as beautiful as she had been 13 years ago. And if it weren’t for the tiny laugh lines around her eyes, they might have been taken then. Her body was the kind my wife wished she had, and would put many porn stars to shame. High firm tits, small tight ass as I said before, and not a trace of stretch marks from the birth of her daughter. But it was the video that really showed her beauty. It was a short clip of her running her fingers up and down her pussy. And it was just long enough for her to say that these pictures and this video were the presents she’d wanted to give me 13 years ago. And now she was coming to help me collect them.

I was in a cold sweat by the time I’d finished looking at the pictures and the video several times. Yeah, several times, more like 20 if you want the truth. Who wouldn’t have looked at them over and over again? Pictures of a naked goddess, and unlike porn films, one who really did want to share her body with me. There was only one problem. I honestly did love my wife, even with the sex problems we had. If I took Liz up on what she was offering, it would destroy my marriage. Yes, I’d been kind of in love with her at one time, but that was 13 years ago. I did still have some of those feelings left, but they’d faded over time, and were nowhere near as strong as my feelings for my wife. On the other hand, I didn’t know if I could tell Liz no for very long. She was beautiful, she was willing, and I wasn’t getting enough sex at home. The perfect recipe for the disaster called cheating on your wife.

I thought about sending Liz a reply, telling her that she was wasting her time. But since she’d already gone to the trouble to arrange everything, she’d come anyway. And she’d figure that once she got here, she’d be able to change my mind. As a matter of fact, I didn’t think there was anything I could say that would stop her from coming. She was chasing a 13 year old dream and was convinced that she could make that dream come true. That conviction was some kind of obsession, and you couldn’t deter obsessed people. The only thing that would stop them was to show them that what they thought they wanted was not what they really wanted.

I’m sure you’re asking what is wrong with me. Why would I not want her to come here. So what if it ended up ruining my marriage, Liz would gladly take my wife’s place, and I’d have more sex than I was getting now. Men dumped their wives all the time for women less beautiful than Liz, so what was the problem? Well, the first problem was that I actually loved my wife, even with the sex issues. I didn’t want to lose her, and I knew I would if Liz showed up here. It didn’t matter whether Liz and I had sex or not, if Liz showed interest in me where my wife could see, she’d be certain we were having sex. And, if Liz was as obsessed with me as she seemed to be, she’d find other ways to destroy my marriage so I’d be only hers.

If we did have sex, and I was sure we would, things would be even worse. I say I’m sure I would, because I’d already come close to accepting offers from girls who weren’t half as beautiful as Liz. You get a guy horny enough, and all his good intentions go out the window. Like I said, the pictures and video she sent already had me breaking out in a cold sweat. The effect in person would be a million times worse, especially if she used the same kind of voice she’d used in the video. With me having as little sex as I was getting at home, how long could I last if she turned on the seduction? I’m only human, and once the little brain woke up, the big brain wouldn’t stand a chance. And if I rejected her after we had sex, who knows what she’d do? We could end up with scenes from Fatal Attraction because of her obsession.

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